To Write a Program
by Megami no Inazumi
Summary: How to write a program. Presented to you by Professor Chavez. who is. uhm. someone who. uh. knows how to write programs. heh heh heh.


To Write a Program

MnI

D/C: hahaha, you should know this one already. Not mine. And if you think that there's someone who'd pay me for this, you've got to be on something.

A/N: not very many today children. we've just seen revolutions and we're adjusting several storylines to fit the end of it. (bloody Wachowskis….) oh well. AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

Summary: A plotless fic. A look into programming and the Matrix. (No, I'm not on sugar right now. I'm on … GOLDFISH!) Btw, this is a oneshot.

To Write a Program:

The boy looks into the classroom. He is not really a boy, and he is not looking at a real classroom. "Professor Chavez," the boy asks.

"Yes?" the man looks up from his papers. "Oh, hello, Kateb. What can I do for you?"

"How does program writing work?"

The man smiles and slides his glasses off his face. "Now, Kateb. If you were going to write programs, why did you not enter that course, instead of this one?"

"I want to understand it. I want to know how it works," Kateb, the boy, replies.

The wizened professor smiles again, sadly almost. "I ought to have know that you would say that."

Chavez stands up and pushes in his chair. Moving neither quickly nor slowly, he motions for Kateb to follow him. In the very back of the pristine classroom, there is a green door that looks so old it seems very out of place. There, Chavez pulls out a great, heavy-looking key and slides it into the old lock. He pushes open the door and leads Kateb into

"Programmer access," Kateb mutters.

"Yes, my boy," Chavez answers. "It is only a way to enter a series of codes that take one from point a to point b. You will often hear them referred to as, 'backdoors.' Now move along."

Chavez leads the way, counting doors under his breath. "Here we are," he says. He opens the door quickly and steps through. "This is the programming classroom," he announces.

"This is only the classroom downstairs. Why did you take me through the backdoor when it was faster to go the other way?" Kateb asks.

Chavez smiles. "Because this was more interesting," he says quietly. "Now," he booms, "Quit dawdling and come over here so I can explain this to you!"

Kateb moves towards the computer Chavez selected.

"The first thing you need is to understand how codes work. Do you?"

"Yes sir."

"Alright. A program's code is just as essential as a human's DNA. Neither entity can function without these basic codes. The first thing a programmer does is create a base program."

"What's that?"

"Shut up and I'll get to it. A base program is very simple. It's the absolute basic code needed to create an entity. First year programmers learn the tedious process of making base programs from scratch. A base program is similar to a paper doll base; everything else is built upon it. You understand, yes?"

"Yes."

"Now, in second year, programming students are told the most upsetting and disappointing piece of news they'll ever hear."

"You don't need a base program?"

"What?! No, my boy! Did you not hear what I just said? You must have a base program to survive! The thing is, base programs don't need to be made from scratch!"

"So all that work was in vain?"

"Yes. Now, there are several base programs, but there are two main ones. Can you guess what they are?"

"No."

"Think, dammit!"

"Male and female?" Kateb is not good at guessing games.

"Yes. Now ask me what you're thinking."

"If they don't make the base, where do bases come from?" Kateb asks.

Chavez smiles. "They are created by a three digit short-cut code."

"What is the short-cut code?"

"You are not allowed to know."

"Okay."

"After the base, a programmer begins to insert codes for various traits. Blonde hair, blue eyes… stuff like that. That's the second layer. After that, the programmer adds special codes for abilities and psychological traits. Like directness, problem solving, bullet dodging… Then comes the fourth layer. This layer is essential to holding the program together. It's mostly a skin layer with no real function, but depending on its size, it makes deleting the program easy or difficult. This layer is also essential to how invincible a program is. For example, if a program is shot, this layer stops the deterioration code that a bullet gives off. However that specific trait is so bulky that its rarely ever used. In fact, I think it was only used once." Chavez frowns and shakes his head, as if to clear his mind. "That's how one creates a program with basic functions."

"So," Kateb wonders aloud. "If that's basic, then how does someone make a program with extra traits? Like wings out his back or something?"

"Easy! You copy a human code and mix it with a bird code, add some skin layers, and viola! You get a program with wings."

"Wait, why use a human code?"

"Oh that? Well, its very complicated, but it takes far too long to write a program program from scratch. You asked me how to write a program. Not how programmers create programs like us."

"Well how do they do that?"

"They start with a human code and screw around with it till it does what they want. Then they skin it and bring it online."

"What?"

"Oh Kateb don't delude yourself. A program is a human with no body. Mind you, we are more advanced, but we are essentially human in that we can reason and rationalize. The meaning of the word human has been twisted so much. In the beginning of time, human meant that one could be rational."

"Humans aren't rational."

"That is far beside the point. For our purposes they are. And so are we. It makes more sense to refer to them as _H. sapiens, but no-one does anyways. Its not practical. Practicality is what separates us from them. Now, run along and work on your assignments. I'm sure you have plenty to do that does not involve contemplating the ways of the universe."_

"Yes sir."

Kateb leaves the room, with more questions than he had before, but knowing that Professor Chavez would not be answering them today. Maybe, after he had been given his purpose, maybe then he could talk to Professor Chavez about the world. Maybe then he could understand.

~MnI~

please review and tell me what you think. 


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